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Clumpany 1-0 Wrapping Paper (AET) – The Clumpany

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Good Afternoon.

There are scenes of total devastation in Clumpany Towers today as I finally emerge victorious from mortal combat with wrapping paper, scissors and sellotape.

Individually gift-wrapping 500 million bottles of Buckie for those Sevco fans less fortunate than ourselves at this special time of year was no small undertaking. But I heard that Dave King had no plans to send them all a bottle from his ‘as seen on TV’ wine cellar, and I wouldn’t want People not to have anything to unwrap on Christmas Day. Especially given that few will receive official Sevco merchandise this year owing to the highly effective boycott of Sports Direct. A boycott which has brought His Big Mikeness to his knees. With hysterical laughter.

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