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The wilful yoonidity of a mind that thinks small

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Some things look small because they’re far away. Some things look small because the BBC chooses a perspective that makes them look small. Some things look small because they are small. And some small things are small because they have to fit within the brain case of a yoonatic journalist. Atoms are tiny, but they’re made up subatomic particles called protons, neutrons and electrons. Protons and neutrons are themselves made up of even more miniscule elementary subatomic particles, like quarks, antiquarks, and leptons. And elementary subatomic particles are made up of the tiniest thing in the known universe, the intellect and imagination of a Westminion.

Today on social media, the usual suspects in the spannerbag of Scottish media yoonettes mocked an SNP MP for pointing out that Scotland looks disproportionately small on the BBC weather map. How stupid is he, eh eh, they joked with one another. Of course it’s small because the world is a globe. How dumb is that? But your TV screen isn’t a globe, it’s a two dimensional surface, and there are recognised ways and means of representing the surface of a sphere on a two dimensional surface. When you spend your career looking for ways to attack the Scottish government, it’s easy to miss out on geometry lessons, never mind cartography.

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