A Heated Draw?

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Conspiracy theorists have often remarked that the balls representing Rangers and Celtic are pre-heated prior to the draw. Should either team be selected as the home team, the second ball is chosen from the non-heated balls. Unfortunately, the laws of physics evidently trumped the SFA’s metaphysics. Heated balls expand and break open more easily. The conditions that resulted in Rangers and Celtic avoiding each other in 18 of 22 Scottish Cup semi-finals, have led to accusations of an SFA cook off.

What occurred yesterday was a farce. It reminded me of when Diana Ross missed her ‘penalty’ at the 1994 World Cup, however in her defence she was wearing heels. I believe she was singing ‘I’m Coming Out‘ so there was no possibility of her being invited to an SFA event. Any advocate of transparency is best avoided.

In the redraw, Rangers were given their third home tie in succession, with Dundee or Dumbarton FC as the visitors once they prevail against the Kilmarnock team bus on the 16th February. The fact that the 16th is the beginning of the knock out stages of the Champions League has evidently escaped the metaphysicists at Hampden. Given a choice of putting your feet up with a cold one to watch PSG v Chelsea, or making your way to Kilmarnock to watch an exhibition of mud wrestling, I get the distinct impression that many will choose the former.